COMPELLED BY LOVE

 

I clumsily picked up my phone and cleared my throat to mumble a “hello,” wondering who could possibly be calling at 1 a.m. It was the mother of one of the girls in my youth group. She frantically asked if I would come over to talk to Rob, a young man who was dating her daughter Pam. Pam had broken up with him, and he showed up angry, drunk, and out of control.

            

Rob had accepted Christ a couple years earlier and had been coming to youth group. I had poured my life into him and grown closer to him. At Pam’s house, I spent a couple of hours talking to Rob but eventually realized talking wasn’t going to help. I gave him three choices: go home, go to the hospital, or wait while I called the police. He decided to go home. That was the last I saw of Rob. He turned completely away from God and would no longer talk to me. 

           

I’ve learned that rejection and disappointment can be common in campus ministry. We can’t afford to base our sense of fulfillment on either rejection or acceptance. We need something deeper and stronger to carry us through struggles like this. Only one thing will give us the determination and endurance to keep going: the love of God. 

 

That love was what gave Jesus the strength to die on the cross for a world that rejected him. It enabled Him to see “the joy set before him” (Heb. 12:2). It also compelled Paul and his ministry companions to persevere through numerous attacks and setbacks (2 Cor. 5:14). And love is the distinguishing characteristic that will mark us as authentic followers of Jesus.

 

A study of 2,000 young people in the Dallas-Fort Worth area who had left the church found that most had done so because they found it irrelevant, unloving, and inauthentic.[1] Tragically, they did not perceive Christians as very compassionate. The lack of love they saw in believers contributed to their exodus.

 

Visible Love

It’s one thing for us to be motivated by the love of Christ, yet another for students to see that love. Loving students consistently and persistently is vital, but it comes with numerous challenges, especially in a time when love, acceptance, and agreement are often seen as synonymous. Sometimes simply disagreeing with someone’s beliefs can subject us to accusations of “hate.” 

 

Yet somehow Christians who love kids need to find ways to demonstrate that love and acceptance through all the highs and lows of what teenagers are going through even if our Christ-centered convictions are seen as counter-cultural. Realizing how much we are loved by Christ motivates us to give our lives away to others. When we realize how patient God has been with us, we are much more likely to be patient with students, endure rejection, and continue relating to them as long as they will let us.

 

Knowing Jesus’ love for us and others also sustains us through difficult times, as Paul expressed so eloquently. He wrote of being “hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10). 

 

To minister on campus over the long haul, we need to be sustained by Paul’s example of endurance, and even more by Jesus’ enduring love as demonstrated on the cross. Their examples will give us eyes to see through students’ defenses and wounds and into the needs of their hearts. That kind of love flowing through us will empower us to continue loving unconditionally, even if our teenage friends don’t respond and if we don’t feel successful. 

 

Sustaining Love

We can try these practical avenues to sustain that kind of love and put ourselves in a position to release it to students:

 

1. Focus on spiritual realities. Our world constantly bombards us with lies about what’s important—that what we own, how we look, how people see us, and what we accomplish are what life is all about. We get the false impression that the physical world, whatever we can see and touch, is the only reality.

            

God gives us a different picture. Behind the physical world is a spiritual realm that will last forever. It’s as real as it gets. That’s why His Word tells us to "set our minds on things above, not on earthly things" (Colossians 3:2), and why Jesus told His followers that the Spirit gives life and the flesh counts for nothing (John 6:63). When our hearts are set on the Lord and His concerns, we can base our lives on the perspective that our investment in relationships lasts forever. Whether we lead a student to Christ or keep loving a student who has snubbed us for the hundredth time, we are investing in both the present and eternity to come. 

           

 This is why Paul encouraged us to be patient: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). We can press on because we know that everything we do in the name of Jesus—every kind word, sacrifice, pat on the back, act of service—will bring an eternal reward when Jesus comes in all His glory. Our responsibility is to love others well.

 

2. Enjoy the journey. We often set goals and then become so focused on them that we can’t see anything else. For example, if we envision hundreds of students coming to Christ, we may begin to see each one as an objective toward the goal and ignore those who don’t quite fit our expectation. The goals begin to dominate our hearts and lives. 

            

That isn’t how Jesus ministered. He savored the process and each moment of it. He refused to be controlled by schedules, quotas, or the expectations of others. Unhurried, He took time to love children, hang out with Samaritans and outcasts, and teach the same truths again and again. He did whatever the Father led Him to do in each moment without worrying about anything else.

            

Each encounter with a student is a divine appointment. That takes the pressure off; we can sit back and watch God work. The love of Christ enables us to enjoy the journey.

 

3. Embrace difficulties enthusiastically. Sometimes God wants to use difficulties to expand our capacity to love. As I once pointed out to a desperate mother who begged me for advice on how to help her son—he was in jail for drugs, theft, and threatening violence—she needed prayer as much as he did, but for different reasons. God wanted to work in her through those trying circumstances and bring her to a greater awareness of His purposes both for her life and her son’s. God is at work growing each of us through life’s circumstances.

            

Students will sometimes break our hearts, but God can use them to enlarge our capacity to love. He calls us to love as He does—by experiencing His love deeply and then loving others in the same way. As difficult as that can be, it creates a powerful testimony for students to see.

 

Your Next Steps

We encourage you to keep a notebook or journal of ideas, action steps, and resources that will help you advance your youth ministry. You can use the following questions and suggestions for brainstorming and developing your goals and plans. 

 

• Reread the “Sustaining Love” section above and develop an action plan for adopting the attitudes and perspectives described there. What steps can you take to help yourself remain focused on spiritual realities, enjoy the journey, and embrace difficulties enthusiastically?

 

• Discuss these perspectives with youth volunteers, students, and others involved in your campus ministry efforts. 

 

Resources 

•  1 Corinthians 13 to keep reading it and memorize

 

[1] “Not on Our Watch: The Greater DFW Next Generation Survey,” Arbor Research Group research findings presented to Movement DFW, May 2022.