FROM OBSERVING TO INTERACTING 

 

Everyone has a “god”—something that controls their lives, consumes their minds, and/or dictates their values. As we observed previously, when Paul arrived in Athens, he walked around and looked carefully at their religious culture and objects of worship (Acts 17:16-23). He could see what they chose to honor and prioritize. Observing their altar “to an unknown God” gave him an entry point into a discussion with some of the city’s leaders. 

 

Ironically, the Athenians acknowledged that there might be a god they didn’t know, even though they ordered their lives around the ones they thought they knew. Paul pointed out that they were pursuing something—a god they didn’t understand. That’s a pretty good description of how today’s student culture operates. 

 

What are the some of the obvious and not-so-obvious driving forces—“gods,” if you will—that drive students’ lives, and therefore create the campus culture? What motivates today’s students? What are the entry points into their lives? The very best way to find out is to talk to them, listen to them, and get to know them—interacting with them. Earlier we pointed out how to observe them. That’s great. But moving to the next level and interacting with them will give you not only better insights, but also build better relationships.

 

How do you build relationships in a campus environment? Well, you have to hang out, spend time, show interest, ask questions, and ultimately, love students! 

 

 

Interview Students

 

Here are a few questions that can keep a conversation going—even with a quiet, introverted student or teacher—as well as some active steps you can take to build better relationships. 

 

Ideally, you already know some students at the school from your church or community activities. Meet with some of them and ask them a few of these questions: 

 

• What is your favorite part of your day at school (besides the final bell)? 

• What is your least favorite part of school for you?

• What extra-curricular activities do most enjoy?

• What social media do you use the most?

• How would you describe the different groups in the school? 

• What do most students do after school? What are their favorite off-campus hangouts?

• What is the principal like? Do students like him/her?

• Who are the favorite teachers? Why are they the favorites?

• What are the biggest problems students face at your school? What do they struggle with the most?

• Do you know who the Christian teachers and students are?

• What Christian groups are represented at the school? Do they meet on campus or off campus? 

 

Ask Teachers 

Teachers will give you great insights into the students, but they can also provide an insider’s view of the administration, especially the principal’s perspective. In the most informal way possible, talk to teachers, especially those who may go to your church and/or live in your community. See if you can have coffee or meet two or three teachers one-on-one during an off period, “just to chat”—not interrogate. After a few minutes of personal chatting and asking “get to know you” questions, ask some questions like these:

 

• How did you get to this particular school? 

• What is the most positive aspect about teaching at this school? Why do you like teaching here?

• What do students most enjoy about this school? 

• What are the most challenging problems your students face? 

• What are the most challenging problems you face as a teacher?

• What are the greatest needs of the school?

• Where do volunteers fit in (for example, people to answer the phone, ushers at ball games, sponsors, coaches, etc.)?

• If the teacher is a Christian, ask what Christian groups are active on this campus. Any teachers’ prayer groups, moms’ prayer groups, student Bible studies or clubs, Christian organizations, etc.? (If the teacher is not a Christian you can still broach the subject.) 

• (If you know the teacher well): Do you think the principal would object to me coming on campus? Why or why not?

 

Teachers can become your greatest allies. Remember, effective campus ministry will involve them as well as students.

 

Hang Out Where Students Hang Out

This feels risky, but the rewards are great. In their environment you will see a different side of students. By hanging out, you get insights into what’s going on in their lives. That doesn’t mean you’ll see their true selves; they still put on masks to impress their friends. But you can see them interact with each other beyond the boundaries of their parents and the church environment. You will notice their fears and insecurities as well as their motivations and values. 

 

If you’re wondering how to do this without seeming like a narc, a predator, or a social intruder, the best approach is to be yourself—friendly and accepting of them right where they are. At first, hang out with students you know, then meet their friends, and continue to build relationships from there. Give them time to get to know you and recognize you. It won’t take long before they will warm up to you and be open to conversations.

 

Pay attention, be aware, and observe. 

 

These guidelines might help too:

 

• Don’t go places where you aren’t wanted—a party just for kids, for example. You probably couldn't get in anyway, but even if you did, you would not be welcomed.

• Do go to public places. Ball games, coffee shops, fast-food restaurants, malls, parking lots, and other places where students hang out provide ideal opportunities to put yourself in their world, meet them on their turf, enjoy them in a relaxed environment, and begin to get to know them on a deeper level. 

• Once you know where the students hang out, stick to that place. Just be a fly on the wall and observe and be friendly. In no time you will have received an education in youth ministry for free—except for the cost of burgers and fries! You will quickly become friends with more students than you could have imagined.  

 

Describe How You See the School 

Given what you have discovered from the principal to teachers to students, write your description of the school. These questions will spur your thoughts:

 

• What is the school known for? What does it take pride in? 

• What does the school value?

• What activities dominate the school? 

• What groups are represented at the school and who leads them?

• What role do sports play? 

• In what areas has the school succeeded? In what areas has the school failed?

 

As you think through the answers to these questions, you will know the basic landscape of the school. You will gain a pretty good understanding of the spiritual and social environment of the school community. And you may get a sense of what they are really pursuing in the depths of their hearts—and know more about how to meet the needs of the school and the people who go there. 

 

Your Next Steps

We encourage you to keep a notebook or journal of ideas, action steps, and resources that will help you advance your youth ministry. You can use the following questions and suggestions for brainstorming and developing your goals and plans. 

 

• As a youth leader stepping onto the campus and into personal relationships with students, how do you see yourself addressing “the longings in their hearts?” Spend some time thinking about how your ministry meets their real and felt needs.

 

• Develop a specific plan for each one of the numbered items above—interviewing students, talking to teachers, spending time where students hang out, and describing the school. 

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Resources

 • Everyschool.com has many resources for crafting your own simple campus strategy, including the opportunity to “adopt” your school.